I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
