M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
