Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
