guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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