mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i came on her dog
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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