I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
