Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
