He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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