I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's great music for shaving your balls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
