What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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