Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
