I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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