So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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