We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
