i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
