thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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