Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize