New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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