come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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