Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
