I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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