Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
