i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
