I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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