my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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