ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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