Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
