I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
