is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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