whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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