You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize