Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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