why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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