you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize