That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
