butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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