I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
