'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
