Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
