It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
