After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
