it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I see more hoeing in ur future
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