ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize