TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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