Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
