Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
