On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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