No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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