ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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