Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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