Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
