when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize