Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize