What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
