mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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