Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
