Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
