I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
