bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
